


for the sanctity of pizza (and sanity)

by angelboygabriel



Category: Band of Brothers, The Pacific - Fandom
Genre: Arguments, Babe and Sledge are brothers, Crack, M/M, Modern AU, Pranks, Sibling Rivalry, outdated memes as a plot point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 04:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12741387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelboygabriel/pseuds/angelboygabriel
Summary: In which Babe and Sledge are brothers, Babe defends his boyfriend's pizza, and George Luz almost gets killed by sibling rivalry.





	for the sanctity of pizza (and sanity)

**Author's Note:**

> the only real background information relevant is that in this fic babe and Sledge are related and both from Mobile. howeverrrr, Babe moved to Philly with their aunt his sophomore year of highschool which is why he's got the Philly accent while Sledge is still southern belle Arnold palmer or whatever
> 
> i don't even know what I was thinking when I wrote this but hey enjoy

 

  
George looked up in alarm as the door slammed open and the Heffron brothers stormed in, Babe marching in with steam all but coming out of his ears as Sledge trailed on his heels, a long tirade of Southern-accented anger pouring out of his mouth.

"I don't fucking CARE that Snafu is sorry!" Babe finally exploded as he wheeled on his younger brother and jabbed a finger in his chest. "You let him fuckin' do it, shitface! Eu- _gene_ Sledge Heffron, our ma would beat your ass!" he yelled.

"Uh, guys? Is everything okay?" George slowly asked, mildly scared to move from his place on the couch.

"Go fuck Joe." Babe and Sledge snapped at the same time. They glared at each other.

"Don't scream at him like that, Philadelphia!" Sledge said and Babe bristled.

"Okay, hypocrite, so you're taking argument cues from Liebgott now?" he asked and planted his hands on his hips. "Real fucking rich coming from you, Bayou Boy." he said haughtily and Sledge narrowed his eyes.

"If I'm Bayou Boy, that makes you swamp fucker." he sneered and Babe's jaw dropped.

"Take that _back_!" he screeched and tackled him. Sledge hit the back of the couch and they toppled over, landing on a flailing George Luz.

"Hey, you ugly Alabama shitfucks, get OFF!" Luz yelped as he scrambled out from beneath where Babe was determinedly yanking Sledge's hair and Sledge was punching his gut. "SNAF! DOC!" he hollered as he ran out of the room. Moments later, four pairs of hands were tearing the wrestling siblings apart and they both petulantly swiped at each other from where they were now pinned against their respective boyfriend's chests.

"Edward!" Roe snarled in Babe's ear as Snafu used a free hand to smack Gene upside the head.

"The fuck ya doin' boo?" Snafu huffed after Sledge stopped struggling.

"I'm fighting the inferior Heffron-"

"Inferior? I'd like to see you beat me, goddamn ginger prick-"

"Yer a ginger too, Eddie!"

"Don't fuckin' call me Eddie, Genie!"

"SHUT UP!" Roe roared and the room instantly silenced. George poked his head around the corner and Ack Ack's head appeared above his with Skip below that.

"Y'all betta have one gooooood explanation for this." Snafu drawled as he let Sledge go.

"Was actually fightin' over you. More like shit ya did to Doc." he grumped.

("Why'd they fight over Snaffy Taffy's scary ass?" Skip whispered and Ack Ack shushed him.

"That's what we're tryna find out, Muck! I got caught in the crossfire so I deserve to know now." Luz mumbled under his breath.)

Both Snafu and Roe looked just as confused as the others not arguing. The Heffrons just silently stared each other down.

"Uh, wanna tell us what it is? Cuz me an' Roe sure ain't got any issues right now but y'all more coiled than a buncha vipers." Snafu said and Babe looked at him.

"Dinner last night?" He asked, expecting it to click. Roe and Snaf shared a blank look with each other.

"The _pizza_?" he asked exasperatedly, and realization crossed the boyfriend's faces and they burst out laughing (much to the expense of Sledge and Babe).

"Ah, fuck, y'all are fighting over the pizza?" Roe laughed and Snafu had to sit down.

"Y'all are more mad that I put pineapple on his pizza than he is." he snickered and the ginger's faces burned red enough to match their hair. "Ya jus' lookin' for a reason to fight each other. Man, we need to get you laid, boo." he added as he patted Sledge's arm.

"You guys are fuckin' insane." Luz hollered from the doorway. Snafu placidly smiled at him before pointing at Babe and Roe.

"Now, you go fuck that piece a' Philly ass while this Southern boy gets mine." Snafu said casually. Like he was talking about the weather.

Ack Ack choked and Snafu's cackle carried throughout the apartment as he dragged a mortified Eugene behind him. "I wasn't bluffin' Sledgehamma!" he sing-songed as they walked by George, Skip, and Andrew, and the trio exchanged looks.

"But like... pineapple pizza? Really?" Luz asked after a solid minute of awkward silence and the others groaned.

"I nevuh wanna hear about pineapple pizza again!" Roe declared.

 

 


End file.
